If I had my child to raise all over again,
I’d finger-paint more, and point the finger less.
I would do less correcting and more connecting.
I’d take my eyes off my watch, and watch with my eyes.
I would care to know less, and know to care more.
I’d take more hikes and fly more kites.
I’d stop playing serious, and seriously play.
I would run through more fields and gaze at more stars.
I’d do more hugging and less tugging.
I’d build self-esteem first, and the new house later.
I would be firm less often, and affirm much more.
I’d teach less about the love of power, and more about the power of love.
(Five in a Row Website)
This Poem is a beautiful thing and I found it on a blog link my mom sent to me. It sums up all the things that have been swirling in my head as God is forcing me to look at what I do and how I do it. The woman from this blog, Elizabeth, has a awesome method of parenting. She doesnt do peaceful parenting, or gentle parenting (although those things are important to her) she does intentional parenting. When I read her Kindergarten Post about what she does with her little ones I could see that to her the work most important for young kids is working with an adult that loves the child. She said that she takes the time to be there for her kids all day. I dont mean that she is in the same room, I mean that she available to them whenever they need her. This made me think. As I stay at home, homeschooling mom, I am always here, but am I really here? Am I available to talk about nothing with my kids, to sit and look through a book, to giggle and tickle, to play and create together? Or am I focused on my computer, my cleaning, my plans to do things? As I pondered this over the past few days I have found that it is more the latter, and I want it to be more of the former! I want my kids to have me. So I am making a small change in how I parent. I am going to be with my kids more. They are a gift to me and my life. They are not a burden. So I will work with them, not around them, I will join in their stories and game. I will do projects with them and include them in mine. Just because they are learning to be independent doesnt mean that they are not in need of my time and true presence. This all ties in with my other post about a Montessori Homeschool and how it is a different environment then that of a school. This, I am realizing as the summer moves on, is a good thing! It is a beautiful difference that needs to be embraced, not fought! I can use all the Montessori teaching methods, but in a way that is going to be best for my kids and my home! It is freeing! It is peaceful because I am not trying to make our house something its not. We are a family and we are able to do things together. So our practical life work can truly be practical. For example, we are “spring” cleaning the house this week, and both my girls are helping. We are doing it together! Talking and working together. And while we are together they are learning how to wring a rag, how to carry a bucket, how to dust, how to carry things carefully, etc. They are learning practical life the way that it easiest to learn at home. I dont need to set up scrubbing work right now, because they are learning to scrub with me! It is natural and easy. Now this doesnt mean I use my kids as work horses (although Bunny is expected to work a bit more then she may want to) but they are ok working with me. These are the things that I am going to really work on more especially as we begin school. We will work together, laugh together, and have fun together. This is my goal! 🙂
Please stop by a visit Elizabeth’s blog “In the Heart of my Home” here.
Mommy to the Princesses
August 2, 2011 @ 7:51 pm
Awesome post and so right! I’ve been thinking on these same lines for quite a few weeks now and the little things that I have focussed on has made a big difference. Being THERE for them during the day has made such a big impact on their attitude – less whining, tantrums and more listening and obedience and willingness to do things when requested. As much as I love montessori, I have come to realize that I will not be able to achieve the picture perfect montessori classroom that I want to have in my home, i can do as much planning as possible as i want but it is not going to happen. But then thinking about the underlying philosophy, I need to follow the child and what better way to do that with the child than BEING in their present. This has given me more clues into their psyche and their ways than any book or blog or website can give. With regards to practical life, I don’t put together trays any more for things that can be practiced in real life. I’ve found that my daughter is more interested in the work and learns her way to perfect it only if it is real. Sorry for this big story! Great post again!
August 3, 2011 @ 1:44 am
I am so glad to hear that you are on the same page as me! It is good to hear that I am not the only one that is relizing that I will not have a picture perfect Montessori classroom! I’m glad that you added your thoughts on all of this! I love hearing from you!
August 4, 2011 @ 12:08 am
Thank you so much for this post. I needed it so badly. Thanks for reminding me that our homeschool doesn’t have to be a traditional Montessori school with schedules and rules. I’m going to work on being more intentional with my children as well. Thanks for the inspiration.
August 6, 2011 @ 1:41 am
Lori~ I’m so glad that my little post helped. I really think that this is something that is good for all of us homeschoolers to remember!It has really made a huge difference here. Me being really there has given me so much peace and made the girls so happy! 🙂