Why Stay at Home?
Today I read a post by Danielle at Today’s the Best Day about being a stay at home mom. She shared her reasons for dropping her career and becoming a stay at home mom. It made me think about why I stay home. Like she says in her post, I HATE the mommmy wars. There is no one right way to parent or live as a family. We are all doing our very best for our kids and my best wont be yours! What we do here, may never work at your house and that is perfect! If we could all do the same thing, then the world would never work at all. For me, I never had a real career and my plan was always to be a stay at home mom. I wanted to see my little people grow from itty bitty babies to the young women they will become. I want to see their happy smiles, their moments of discovery, and to help them through the hard times. I want to laught with them, and cry with them. They are part of me and my husband and I want them to be a part of our life. I even went father with this idea them some people and kept them home to homeschool them. We are now learning together and becoming better people together too. For me it is a blessing to be a mom at home. This is what I remind myself of when the days are hard and the insecurities set it. I am not perfect and they know that! We have times when I feel like I am bombing it pretty badly and that being home doesn’t make me a productive person. I yell and they get snippy with me (and each other). And I feel awful when I spend more time on the computer then I should. But what I am learning is we are working together on this. They see me loose it , but they also see me apologize. We can work on changing tones of voice and the way we respond to each other moment by moment. We work on it all day, not just bit by bit when they get home from school! I am in the thick of it all the time and as my mom always told us, if you cant be nice to everyone a home, you cant be nice to other people! So we work……some days we work harder then others! But we are also happy! Isnt that what life is really truly about though? Living together, working to be better, and learning all the way? It is the thought that keeps me going day by day, and even without a paycheck, I feel like this is a gift I am giving to my girls and to the community. I am giving them a chance to be kind, real, able to think outside of the typical ideas, and to know how to better themselves. It is not an instant process, it is a long one, and I am blessed!
What about you? Do you stay home? Why do you do what you do?
October 3, 2014 @ 2:22 pm
Ok! Here I am making the comment I meant to type a while ago! I stay home because after visiting preschools to sign my daughter up three years ago, I decided (and thankfully my husband agreed 100%) that I couldn’t send them away. I am so glad that one preschool was expensive because I could have missed out on it all! I wouldn’t changed homeschooling for the world. I started a blog because in my family I didn’t get support. They expected me to go back to work. I used to be a very specialized and highly awarded teacher. Well, guess what? My kids deserve the best for them! I am staying home because no one can be their specialized and highly awarded teacher better than me! I am the one who on top of all loves them! I told my family that I gladly give up my income, the awards and recognition. Instead I wanted hugs, kisses, and the chance to wipe their tears all day long. I want to be there for them…. After a year or so I still get comments like: “It is so nice of you to give up everything and stay home.” My reply is always: “I am not giving up on anything. This is not sacrificing myself here! I am gladly doing it because I simply love it!” I am still learning, we have our rocky days, but we keep on enjoying each other company and it is a pleasure to see them learn and grow.
October 4, 2014 @ 3:29 am
I have been following your blog for a while. As a new Montessori homeschooling mom I am constantly feeling overwhelmed and in need of hearing I am not alone. I love this post as well as many of your others. This one really hits home! I was a staff accountant before I had children and in the process of finishing my degree. I decided not to finish my bachelors and to have my daughter. I knew I always wanted to stay home since my mom wasn’t around much and my parents were divorced by the time I was 2. I was lucky to have grandparents who took care of me but I think I bonded more with them then my own parents. I didn’t want this to happen to with my own kids. For 3 years I sent my oldest to preschool because I didn’t think I had the patience to teach her full time. Looking back I wish I hadn’t been so scared but it was a great experience for her. Now despite being overwhelmed getting us up and running and moving in the last couple of months I couldn’t be happier. My kids are so much closer and I have really gotten to know my daughter again. We but heads a lot but that’s just because she knows what she wants and needs and I am still learning to trust her. I keep telling other moms who said what I did that they can do it to and that they need to trust themselves. Women had been raising and educating their own children for centuries before schools became common place. It’s just like giving birth we were made to do this and if we can just trust nature we would be ok. I Am not saying it is easy but the rewards are so worth it. Thanks for your blog!