The Secret of Childhood..
So I finished Marie Montessori’s The Secret of Childhood. It was really fabulous! It really opened my eyes to a lot of things that I need to change in the way that I interact with my children. I realized the importance of the truly prepared envoirnments. If we tell our children “No” all the time, we stifle their ability and drive to learn. If we really allow them to work and concentrate then we allow them to become the person that they want to. There are SO many time that I am in so much of a rush to get something done, that I push away their efforts to help. I yell when things get really crazy and I know that it is wrong. It hurts them and doesn’t teach them the proper way to handle the things that they encounter. So many times our kids act out and this, Montessori says, is their way of telling us that something is out of place in their environment, or that they are unable to do something that they are trying to do. So instead of yelling, I need to try and identify the issue so that they are able to learn what they need. One of the things that she said in the book that really hit me hard was her chapter on how kids love. They want to be with us first thing in the morning, and they don’t want us to go last thing at night. They tell us every little thing, they come to us with every little problem. The only reason that they do this, is because they LOVE us! They love us more then anyone will ever love us again, and yet we often are angry at them for that very expression of love. That was something that really made me try to think about the things that say to my kids when they are showing love.
So I learned these things:
~ An envoirnment where the child is able to move freely and really work is crucial to their development.
~ That yelling and punishing don’t really teach them so much.
~That when they are always near us and trying to talk to us its because they LOVE us.
~ That work is necessary for a child
This book really has opened my eyes and I think that I really need to get another book. I think now I need to learn what to do when your child does something that she shouldn’t. I know that we have always used time outs, but is there a better way? Hmmm….I guess its back to the library! I would love to know what you all though of this book! Leave a comment.
March 30, 2011 @ 2:22 am
Hi Stephanie!! It’s a beautiful post and I totally agree!! I just found your blog and I have to tell you I’m hooked here reading your beautiful posts!! I love your blog!!
March 31, 2011 @ 10:41 am
Hi Stephanie
You have just read my fav Montessori book (so far). It really offers an excellent insight into the world of childhood.
I am no expert but have read a lot and worked with children for years and so I will share one of the ways I deal with behaviour outbursts. I stay neutral, get down to the child’s height, hold his/her hand if they will let me, and I say something like, ‘I need to know what has happened. Can you stop yelling/crying and tell me what is wrong?’ If a child simply won’t follow directions I often do the same kind of thing. I walk over to them, get down to their level and say in a calm voice, ‘We need to go to the library now. If we are going to borrow books today, you need to join in. We can walk together. Come on.’
More often than not, this attention diffuses the situation. It just means you lose a few extra seconds of your own time but it is worth it in the end.
Lin
April 1, 2011 @ 12:49 am
Thank you Karen for your sweet comment! I love knowing that poeple are reading this! 🙂
Lin, thank you so much for your thoughts about behavior. I am trying to do that, but somethime I feel like I am going to explode! So what do you do then? I know that sounds silly, but I really would like to know if its just me or if other people feel like this. I really do thank you for taking the time to comment! 🙂 It was SO helpful! I hope that you stop by again soon!
April 1, 2011 @ 8:36 pm
It’s me again!!lol I let you an award on my blog!!!